[A black truck pulls up outside of a house. Inside the house there are a man and woman, Eddie and Angie, are sleeping in the
bedroom, and another man, Errico, sleeping on the couch. Bounty hunters approach the house. Inside, a phone rings.]
[The phone is dead. Errico and Eddie get dressed quickly. The Bounty hunters try to break the door down. Errico waits inside
for them, holding a gun. The door flies open.]
PJ: Drop it!
[Errico shoots. The bounty hunters, seeing a flash of light as Eddie picks up his glasses, shoot Eddie. Errico runs out the
Knoll: Freeze! Down! Get down!
Angie: [Seeing Eddie is dead] No! No! No!
Falsone: You still got the midnight oil on you.
Gharty: Yeah, top of the morning to you, too. What happened last night?
Falsone: What didn't happen?
Gharty: Oh, jeez.
Falsone: You are one twisted individual.
Gharty: I'm paying for it. I can't even see straight with this head. I can't remember anything.
Falsone: Any time, any where, Stu, you are worth the price of admission.
Stivers: Let’s go, Falsone. What sewer spit you back out? Come on, we got a body waiting.
Gharty: Hey, thanks a lot for getting me home last night.
Falsone: I didn’t get you home.
Gharty: I remember someone driving me.
Falsone: Well, it wasn’t me. I left you at the bar.
Gharty: If not you, then who did?
Stivers: You left him? You don’t leave Gharty at a bar, he’s radioactive.
Falsone: He’s got a chippy on each arm, a bottle of Yager in each hand, the man if feeling no pain. And these chippies
are leaning their bazooms into him.
Falsone: See, 3AM at a fells point dive, you ain’t trafficking with the upstanding and virtuous, alright? And Gharty?
He’s got them in a lather telling them tales of his days in Viet Nam.
Stivers: Gharty’s in Viet Nam? When?
Falsone: Back then, when it was.
Stivers: You should have dragged his ass out of there.
Falsone: Oh, poster boy for sobriety and marriage vows that I am, I had to go see Ballard.
Falsone: Hey, is it true that flat chested women are more sensitive sexually?
Stivers: What, I look like the Kinsey Report?
Falsone: Me and Lora had a debate over that.
Stivers: You and Ballard. That’s kind of an intimate detail to be debating.
Falsone: Yeah, I know.
Stivers: Very intimate.
Falsone: Yeah, I know. Hey, Jazzy Jay Salerno.
Stivers: Hey, Jay.
Salerno: Falsone, Stivers. Victim is a male Caucasian, his name is Eddie Scales. He was 32 years. He was shot.
Salerno: That’s the wife of the victim.
Stivers: Griscom, What do we got?
Griscom: Young fella here’s been shot twice in the chest.
Falsone: It’s a nine millimeter, where’s the gun?
Griscom: This is all they found [Eddie’s glasses]. He must have been blind as a frosted pigtail bat.
Salerno: The wife identified the glasses as belonging to the victim. Bounty hunters shot him. I have them cooling in the kitchen.
Stivers: The victims was a fugitive?
Salerno: We’re still sorting things out.
PJ: I see a flash, to me he’s firing a gun. You seen the flash too, right?
Knoll: Hey, you know something, I can’t make out if this is an “L,” something or other.
Salerno: Homicide’s here.
Knoll: Hey, how you doing? I’m Dennis Knoll. These are my two Associates, PJ Johnson, Jerry Litche.
Falsone: I’m Detective Falsone, this is my partner Terry Stivers.
Knoll: Nice to meet you.
Stivers: This your house?
Stivers: Your feet, pal.
Litche: Oh, yeah, sure. Excuse me.
Knoll: Terrible thing, what happened here.
Falsone: What did happen here?
Knoll: My associates and I are state licensed and bonded fugitive agents.
Stivers: Bounty hunters.
Knoll: This is all perfectly legal. We had a retake warrant for a felon who skipped out on his court date to be sentenced.
Falsone: And this would be the victim laying in the hallway.
Knoll: No. Unfortunately. But we didn’t know that at the time.
PJ: I see something in the guys hand and then a flash, like a gun.
Stivers: No gun has been recovered.
PJ: We were shot at!
Knoll: Johnson and I come in the front door, we are immediately fired on.
Stivers: You’re shot at, then where’s this gun?
Knoll: Out the back door, with the fugitive.
Litche: It never should have happened, Errico getting away like that.
Falsone: Your fugitive runs off.
Knoll: He’s going in for a mandatory five years, no parole. This is no innocent we’re talking about here.
Stivers: We have these jamokes guns?
Salerno: They’re on their way to the firearms lab.
Knoll: Yeah, I’d like it noted that the jomokes gave up their weapons voluntarily. Okay, so we’re finished here.
Stivers: I want each of them put into a separate car.
Knoll: You’re taking us in? That’s not right.
Stivers: Everybody goes.
Knoll: Get your stuff.
Mike: So you were in the Air Calvary?
Gharty: I was. Where's my partner?
Lewis: Gee gave her some days off. Something about personal time in Seattle.
Gharty: No one told me.
Lewis: Eh, she'll be back tomorrow.
Mike: So you jumped out of planes.
Lewis: I think you meant air mail, didn't you?
Gharty: Second Battalion, Second Cavalry.
Lewis: Air Cav, isn't that supposed to be, like, lean mean fighting machine, huh? You ain't exactly the picture of health
Gharty: Hey. This is from coming onto the force. Catch me back in the 70's, buddy boy, I was 152 pounds of rock 'em sock 'em
lead dog. I was a LRRP.
Mike: A LRRP?
Gharty: Long Range Recon Patrol. Carried the M60 for the unit. I could lay out a little better than 600 rounds a minute. That's
10-11 7.6 millimeter love notes a second.
Munch: What, Gharty, you were some kind of combat hero?
Gharty: Who said anything about that?
Munch: Everybody's a hero, right? Isn't it perfect when you can John Wayne history?
Gharty: Hey, what's your problem?
Munch: I'll tell you, Stewie, honey. That war is over and we lost. No, you lost.
Bayliss: John, the ME just signed off on that old woman from yesterday.
Munch: Let's ride and pick up the paperwork.
Bayliss: No, no, no, Scheiner said he'd bring it down.
Munch: I need some fresh air, it stinks in here.
Bayliss: Okay, we'll get some breakfast.
Angie: You son of a bitch! I hate you! You son of a bitch!
Munch: Envision my second wife. And on a good day.
Falsone: I want her in interview two!
Knoll: Hey, Rene.
Knoll: You know me as a stand up guy. Talk to them, will you?
Stivers: I want these two in the aquarium. Keep them apart. Not talking.
Knoll: A little professional courtesy?
Sheppard: What you got?
Stivers: Three knuckle head bounty hunters went and shot the wrong man dead.
Sheppard: I know him, Dennis Knoll.
Stivers: Lewis, interview one.
PJ: I’m being arrested?
Lewis: We’ll see. Aw, you’re not going to cry on me are you, huh? Ruin my nice sunny day? Have a seat.
Sheppard: I’ve worked with Knoll, he’s done the fugitive squad a lot of favors. Brought in a couple nasty individuals.
Stivers: I’ll try.
Falsone: You knew Errico was in the house?
Angie: I don’t know. He was--he was up when I went to sleep. But my husband said that he wasn’t going to be staying.
Falsone: You didn’t know your friend was wanted?
Angie: He was my husband’s friend.
Falsone: So then your husband knows?
Angie: I don’t know. He comes over for a few beers.
Falsone: Which he has done before?
Angie: Not a lot, a few times.
Falsone: When he’s been in trouble.
Angie: You think I’d let him in my house if he’s in trouble? If something like this would happen?
Stivers: You see a gun.
PJ: I see someone in the hallway. It’s dark. I see this arm come up. He’s maybe 10, 15 feet away. And then there’s
a flash, and then another one.
Stivers: You see gunshots.
PJ: I see his arm come up. Two flashes. That’s a gun to me.
Angie: My Eddie’s a good man. He always took care of me.
Falsone: He’s never been in trouble.
Falsone: Why you so jumpy, Angie?
Falsone: He doesn’t have a record?
Falsone: Because I will be looking that up as part of my investigation.
Angie: My husband never spent a day in jail. Could I get something to drink?
Falsone: Sure. Coffee?
Angie: We never had any money. How am I going to bury him right?
Falsone: I can make a call to victim’s assistance, they’ll help you out.
Angie: Okay. A Pepsi while you’re at it too, please.
Stivers: Errico knocks you down. He has a gun.
Litche: That’s right.
Stivers: You see the gun.
Litche: Guy jumps over the fence, he’s got a gun in his hand.
Stivers: Which hand? Come on, you’re watching him run, which hand is carrying the gun.
Litche: His right hand.
Stivers: You’re sure.
Litche: I think so, yeah.
Stivers: So maybe his right, maybe his left.
Litche: Look, the guy’s jumping over the fence, he’s using his left hand. The gun’s got to be in his right.
Stivers: And now maybe you don’t see anything. Maybe there’s no one coming out the back door, maybe there’s
no one jumping the fence.
Litche: He’s wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and running shoes.
Stivers: You’re sure.
Litche: I know what I’m seeing.
Stivers: Big guy like you getting knocked on your ass. How does that happen?
Litche: You think I don’t find that embarrassing?
Stivers: Never should have happened.
Litche: The gun was in his right hand.
Stivers: Maybe it never did happen, huh?
Gee: You take Broadway, you save time.
Mike: Too many lights.
Gee: And Hartford road is any better?
Mike: Well, Hartford road, the lights are timed.
Gee: Take Broadway tomorrow, you’ll see.
Mike: Father knows best.
Gaffney: Just the two I’m looking for.
Gee: Ah, Gaffney. My work day begins.
Gaffney: We have a request from Baltimore Magazine to interview the two of you for a featured piece. Kind of a father and
son story pegged on the job you did together in the poison wine case. The commissioner likes the idea, gave it two thumbs
up. Here is the reporter’s number.
Mike: I’ll have to talk Whidlong, Bureau policy is--
Gaffney: I’ve already cleared in with the agent in charge. We want this story. It’s good publicity for both agencies.
Good for the both of you, too.
Gaffney: Excuse me?
Gee: There’s absolutely no way in Hell I’m talking to that reporter. That incident with the poison wine is best
Gaffney: Why would a father want to stand in the way of his son’s career.
Stivers: The wife of the victim, she didn’t witness the shooting?
Falsone: She’s in there crawling the walls, barley knows her own name. I’m hoping the sugar boost will help calm
Sheppard: How’s Dennis Knoll doing?
Stivers: I’m going in on him right now.
Sheppard: You mind if I stand in on the interview with you?
Stivers: I’m alright, I can handle him.
Sheppard: I’m not saying that.
Stivers: I understand he helped you out a while back. What, you’re beholden to the guy now?
Sheppard: Friendly face. He trusts me. I could be of help.
Stivers: Okay. Sure.
Falsone: You know, you really should put something in your stomach.
Angie: No, I never eat breakfast. Did you make that call to victim’s assistance?
Falsone: They’re not open for another hour or so.
Angie: How much they give out?
Falsone: How much what?
Angie: How much money? I mean, I gotta have enough to bury my Eddie good, you know? It’d be better if you could get
me cash instead of a check, because, I mean, those check cashing places will take you for a ride. What a rip off.
Falsone: You on anything, Angie? I ask you to pee in a cup nothing funky comes up, huh?
Stivers: And you had no warrant.
Knoll: I didn’t need one. Joseph Errico gave up all his constitutional rights when he jumped bail. Any address he lays
his head? Fair game. He is a rat’s ass dope dealer who skipped on a 75,000 dollar bond. He’s busted for a third
drug offense. Done. Mandatory five years.
Stivers: But not Eddie Scales.
Knoll: Eddie? Eddie ain’t no virgin, his wife either. My company’s got history with the both of them, posted bail
for the both of them. Shoplifting, soliciting, car break ins, grabbing Jerry Lewis’ donation boxes off counters off
the seven eleven.
Sheppard: You identify yourselves when you first go into the house?
Knoll: Upon entering we are giving them a holler. Hey, graduated Maryland College, par criminal justice, masters degree. Two
years law school, University of Richmond. I am not your honky tonk gun rack in the back of the pickup rebel yell redneck,
okay? I am a professional.
Stivers: Could have fooled me.
Knoll: A meticulous professional, thank you.
Sheppard: You have reliable information that this Joseph Errico would be on the premises?
Knoll: From his mother.
Stivers: His mother gave him up?
Knoll: Well, she is the one putting up her house to make his bail. Her knucklehead of a son, he’s going to Jessop any
way you want to slice it. What good is it going to do her to lose her house?
Stivers: There are three shell casings found at the scene. Two are from your partner Johnson’s gun, the third shell
casing is found next to the victim. Johnson says he hears a gun go off.
Knoll: I hear it, too.
Stivers: Then he says he hears another shot. But if there’s two shots, how’s there only one shell casing found
next to the victim? Now you are a professional, man. Do the math. You wouldn’t have dropped that shell casing yourself
now, would you?
Knoll: Well, why would I drop just the one then?
Gaffney: Mind if I join you?
Mike: Not at all.
Gaffney: Is that your lunch?
Mike: Snacking. A little roughage. Honey glazed? A fundamental in the law enforcement pantheon.
Gaffney: Yeah, well, I’m not eating lunch today so, what the Hell? So how’s our little shop doing?
Mike: Excuse me?
Gaffney: The unit. How do things seem?
Gaffney: I don’t know. There’s a little bit more red on the board lately. I’m thinking, and no disrespect
intended, but I’m thinking your father’s shift seems to be struggling with putting the squad room shooting in
Mike: It’s had its affect on him, I’m sure.
Gaffney: Not that your father’s to blame. I mean, he’s done his best to keep the wheels on the cart. I want to
back him up as best I can, but to do that I need to know where he needs the help. And he’s a proud man, doesn’t
ask for help even when he needs it. You let us know if there’s any place where the Lieutenant’s falling down.
I’m only here to help. Detective.
Lewis: Hey, Captain.
Gaffney: In this agency, Captains always merit a salute.
Falsone: Hey, rock ‘em sock ‘em Stewart.
Gharty: You were goofing with me, right? About getting me home last night?
Falsone: No, I swear to God, I didn’t.
Gharty: Jeez. How the Hell did I get back to my place?
Falsone: You wake up next to anyone?
Gharty: I don’t think so. Not that I could see all that clearly this morning.
Falsone: When you get off shit, if I were you, I’d check your apartment for any evidence of mischief.
Falsone: Yeah, you know. A bra, panties, a garter belt.
Gharty: Garter belt.
Falsone: Or two. Let me tell you, them sweet young women that were clinging onto you? They were showing them off.
Gharty: Oh boy. Ohboyohboy. I don’t remember. I don’t remember. Just like I don’t remember Ballard telling
me she was going to Seattle.
Falsone: Oh, change the subject, why don’t you.
Gharty: No, no, no.
Falsone: She left this morning. I took her to the airport.
Falsone: Some kind of family thing.
Gharty: Family thing. Crisis?
Falsone: A thing. She was vague.
Gharty: So you drove her DWI?
Gharty: You went to see her after you left the bar last night, right?
Falsone: Uh huh.
Gharty: Which was late.
Gharty: So you go home and get up early and drive her to the airport, huh? You must be dragging same as me.
Falsone: Oh, no, I got my five hours sleep.
Gharty: What? You live all the way across town from Ballard. How do you get five hours sleep. No way.
Falsone: Who said I went home?
Gharty: Oh. Yeah?
Gharty: No. You and Ballard.
Falsone: You’re alright with this, right?
Gharty: Sure, sure, sure. You and Ballard. I say, wow. Wow. Wow.
Falsone: You’re sure?
Gharty: Yeah. At least it’s not her with Bayliss.
Gharty: At least I you’re straight. I mean, you are, aren’t you?
Falsone: The last time I looked, yeah.
Gharty: What the Hell is that supposed to mean?
Falsone: Easy fella. Ballard’s alright with me.
Gharty: Right. Okay. Good. Great.
Munch: Don't mention the Gulf of Tonkin.
Bayliss: Whatever you say, Munch.
Munch: LBJ and his cronies, they invent this lie, they go on TV, they do this song and dance. I threw my TV out the window.
It was a damn lie then, it's a damn lie now.
Bayliss: Right, right.
Munch: You know, they create this fiction as an excuse the escalate the war. It wasn't a war, Congress never declared Viet
Nam a war. The best they could muster was police action. Which, come to think of it, is an insult to those of us who carry
a badge. It was an ugly police action, alright. Find the heroes in that.
Bayliss: You're really riled up, aren't you?
Munch: I'm not riled up.
Griscom: I'm not finished with this morning's shooting, I just got started, so don't be putting the bum's rush to me.
Bayliss: You know something, we're here for Scheiner.
Scheiner: Coffee ain't ready either.
Bayliss: How you doing, Scheiner?
Griscom: He's no go at cappuccino, he failed at froth.
Scheiner: I'm back to drip brew.
Munch: Where's the paperwork, Scheiner?
Scheiner: What paperwork?
Munch: The old lady, yesterday.
Scheiner: Yesterday? Old lady?
Bayliss: Yeah, the natural causes one.
Griscom: Oh, that. I messengered that report to you detectives twenty minutes ago. So many bodies, so little time.
Knoll: Hey, guys, come on. We're all on the same side of the line, here.
Gee: Yeah. Look away. Son of a bitch. Dime store Rambos. They should be hung by the short ones.
Danvers: She looks a little raw.
Falsone: Yeah, she's jonesing. Waiting on victim's assistance to come down and help her on money to bury her husband. Five
will get you ten she puts it right into her arm.
Gee: I don't like them. I have never liked them. They hunt people for money. Bunch of brain dead bastards.
Stivers: This guy right here, he's our shooter, PJ Johnson . He claims he only returned fire after he was shot at twice.
Falsone: What's hinky is that we only found one shell casing laying next to the victim.
Danvers: Where's the other one?
Falsone: You got me swinging.
Stivers: So how's this shake out? Can we charge them?
Danvers: The shooter, yeah, but the other two? That's problematical. Unless they know sure the fugitive is in the house, these
bounty hunters have no justifiable cause.
Gee: The other two, we charge them.
Danvers: With what?
Gee: As accessories.
Danvers: Do they know their partner intends to shoot the victim?
Stivers: They say they don't, but who knows what they're thinking?
Danvers: Well, you have to prove they knew they were going to shoot the wrong guy.
Gee: Charge the shooter. Read Johnson his rights. Bring in this Errico, I want to hear his side of the story.
Stivers: I'll put them on the teletype.
Secretary: Lieutenant, I have someone here about the Scales shooting.
Bridger: Nice to meet you Lieutenant.
Gee: Are you a lawyer? I hate lawyers.
Bridger: Bobby Bridger, bondsman. And you are who around here?
Danvers: Ed Danvers, I'm with the State's Attorney's Office.
Bridger: How you doing?
Danvers: Can't complain. Nobody listens anymore.
Bridger: Hey, what the Hell? PJ, what's going on?
PJ: I don't know.
Knoll: They're charging him.
Bridger: Charging him with what?
Danvers: The wrongful death of Eddie Scales.
Gee: Manslaughter, second degree.
Bridger: This is some kind of joke.
Angie: Hey, detective Falsone, I've been waiting for almost an hour now.
Falsone: Victim's assistance knows about you, they'll be here.
Bridger: PJ, he's one of my employees. This is crazy, how do we make this right?
Gee: It is right.
Bridger: PJ goes through processing, what are his chances he meets up with some old acquaintances in the holding cell? Buddies
he's busted in the past.
Gee: Oh, I'd say his chances are good.
Bridger: You know they would rip him a new one.
Gee: Oh, no, he'll be just fine.
Bridger: Come on. You can write this up as self defense.
Danvers: What did I say about nobody listens to me anymore.
Bridger: Second degree manslaughter? That's bogus. I'll have my guy out on 5000 dollars before lunch.
Inmate: Yo. That's the guy that brought me in here man.
Woman: That bum deserved to die. I did it. I don't have nothing to be ashamed about.
Gharty: Mary, Mary, before you make any statements, you have a right to have a lawyer present. Watch your step there.
Mike: A victim, a weapon, and a confession.
Gharty: Hey, snap, crackle, pop. Slam dunk.
Mike: Life can be sweet. Grab some lunch?
Gharty: What did you have in mind?
Gharty: I had that for breakfast, oddly enough.
Gharty: I have just had it with the red sauce in this town. It's all the same, wherever you go. There's got to be some little
guy below street level standing over a vat of red sauce with a pipe system to every eatery in little Italy.
Mike: How about Vietnamese?
Gharty: How about, no?
Mike: You're talking about your days over in Viet Nam has given me a taste for lemon grass chicken with chili. Spicy shrimp
Gharty: Yeah, I never got into the food there, when I was over there. Look, um, I'm driving. So we'll go for ribs.
Bayliss: Nah, Gharty's okay.
Munch: How delusional is your Zen deal making you?
Bayliss: Are you saying he's lying?
Munch: Check the man's record. The project shootings a couple years ago. Gharty pulls up to the scene, sees two kids chasing
each other with guns, what does he do? What's his trained professional response? He runs back to his squad car, locks all
the doors, and waits until both kids are dead. That's your big Viet Nam war hero, huh? They brought him up on charges.
Bayliss: No, no, he was cleared.
Munch: That's because the board wanted it to go away. It was a political decision. They shipped Gharty's ass to Internal,
which we all know is work by bottom feeders. Pestilence and plague, Gharty's in his element there. How he rotates to Homicide
is still a mystery to me.
Bayliss: You know something, he took a bullet last year just like me.
Munch: Different circumstances. You were trying to save your partner's life, he was trying to hid under his desk.
Bayliss: Well, you know, maybe he's exaggerating about his days in Viet Nam. It's just talk, John.
Munch: Those days are no just talk, Tim.
Sheppard: I had a bail jumper on a murder. Billy Armstrong. Evil Bastard. I get a tip on where Billy's hiding out, some bar
in Greenmount, right? I'm driving to the bar. My partner--
Lewis: This is when you was fugitive squad, huh?
Sheppard: The salad days. So my partner and I, we know that Armstrong's not going to lie down peacefully, you know what I'm
saying? I got a bad feeling about this night, something's going to happen, someone's going to get hurt. So I pull up to the
bar, my partner grabs a shotgun, I pull out my piece. Out comes Armstrong. Handcuffed. Bounty hunters had gotten him. That's
how I know Dennis Knoll. He brought Armstrong down without any gunfire. I can vouch for him.
Lewis: Me? I vouch for Paladin.
Lewis: Paladin. Bounty hunter.
Sheppard: What bondsman does he work for? I've never heard of a Paladin.
Lewis: Richard Boone. Huh? Black hat, black boots, black pants, black shirt. Had that mean little mustache. On TV.
Lewis: 'Have Gun, Will Travel.' His own personalized business cards. It was deep.
Sheppard: When does this show come on? I have never seen this show.
Lewis: It was on in the late 50's and on into the early, mid 60's. Richard Boone.
Sheppard: You watched this as a kid?
Lewis: Everybody did. Hey, Bayliss.
Lewis: Paladin. You remember him?
Bayliss: Paladin. Yeah, sure.
Lewis: Right, right, bounty hunter, huh?
Bayliss: Bounty hunter? No, no, he wasn't a bounty hunter. He was a gun for hire. You know who you're thinking of though?
Steve Mcqueen. Steve Mcqueen, Wanted Dead Or Alive.
Lewis: Oh! There you go.
Bayliss: Great. He's my idol. Still is.
Lewis: Right. Steve Mcqueen. That's my boy.
Sheppard: Wait a minute, this is back in the 50's and the 60's? I wasn't even born then. How old did you say you were?
Lewis: Oh, I just--I caught it mostly in the tail end--You know, late night reruns--reruns, this is like--no. It was before
my time also.
Gee: He's able to post bond in an hour? He's on a manslaughter charge.
Falsone: We barley got him from fingerprinting and photos and Bobby Bridges' walking PJ out the door.
Stivers: And Danvers calls, wants to know how PJ's been pushed up for his arraignment. It's been scheduled for tomorrow morning.
Gee: That's not possible. The quickest he can come up before a judge is a week.
Stivers: It's got Danvers scrambling. This Bobby Bridger must have some kind of drag with the court commissioner.
Falsone: This is lumpy, the way she's jukin' the system.
Stivers: No, this redefines lumpy.
Gee: Let me make a few phone calls.
Stivers: We do have an address on the mother of the fugitive, Joe Errico.
Gee: Did the crime lab find anything?
Falsone: They've gone over the scene, every inch of floors, walls, ceiling, every stick of furniture and cushion. No bullet
Gee: And where's our witness, the young widow?
Falsone: I had a uniform run her over to victim's assistance, she was sucking all the soda out of the machine.
Stivers: Smack's making a comeback, huh?
Gee: Find this Joey what's his name. I don't like the idea of these bounty hunters running around free if he's still out there.
Bayliss: Hey, you two guys want something from Margaret's?
Mike: The vegetarian place?
Bayliss: Yeah, they got a chickpea lasagna special today.
Mike: Just had ribs.
Gharty: Where's your partner?
Gharty: The moron, yeah.
Bayliss: Moron? Come on, Gharty.
Gharty: Where is he?
Bayliss: He's at a court date, I've got to go pick him up.
Gharty: You tell him from me, if he wants it, he's got it. I'm in the mood.
Bayliss: For what?
Gharty: He keeps on my ass, he'll see the Irish in me, alright?
Bayliss: There's no need to make threats here, Stu.
Gharty: It's okay with you he gets almighty about my past, he can step in my crap?
Mike: Stu, we got paperwork upstairs.
Gharty: I'll step on his skinny neck.
Bayliss: You do what you have to do. Why you coming to me about this, huh? Your past, that's your past.
Gharty: He's your partner.
Bayliss: You are ruining my appetite, you know that?
Gharty: We did have this conversation.
Gharty: So we understand each other then.
Bayliss: Yeah, we understand each other.
Mike: It's like the war itself, huh? There's no end to it.
Bayliss: They'll figure out something, somehow.
Falsone: Imagine coming home drunk trying to find your house. They're identical.
Stivers: That never happens.
Falsone: Did to me, New Year's eve.
Falsone: Couple Christmas Eves, too.
Stivers: That's bunk. You're just trying to play into another one of those urban myths. Light's on.
Falsone: Nobody's home.
Mrs. Errico: What do you want?
Falsone: Mrs. Errico?
Mrs. Errico: If you ain't the grand prize sweepstakes, I don't know any Mrs. anything.
Falsone: I'm Detective Falsone.
Stivers: Detective Stivers.
Mrs. Errico: You're too short to be out after dark.
Stivers: Are you Mrs. Errico?
Mrs. Errico: Way too short to be cops.
Stivers: Have you seen your son today?
Mrs. Errico: No, chalk it up as a good day.
Falsone: When did you last see him?
Mrs. Errico: When I went to bail him out some three weeks ago. You really cops?
Stivers: Yeah, we are.
Mrs. Errico: You're young too.
Stivers: When is the last time you spoke to Joey?
Mrs. Errico: This house is all I got to my name and that moron, he's going to make me lose it. The bail people are threatening
me all the time.
Stivers: Where would Joey run?
Mrs. Errico: A lot of places. Wherever he can make a connection.
Falsone: He have any connections out of town?
Mrs. Errico: What, the dope in Baltimore dry up all of the sudden? It it's around, he's around. There's a place up in Southport
and Wolfram. One of them boarded up places all burnt out. I saw him come out of there a few times.
Stivers: Southport and Wolfram.
Mrs. Errico: I see him, he sees me. I walk across the street, he stands there. I say, "Joey, what are you doing? You can't
be doing this. You've got to get well." He says to me, "I am getting well."
[Stivers and Falsone check out the house. It's abandoned. There's nothing but rats.]
Bayliss: Hey, Meldrick, Munch.
Lewis: Hey, it's the enlightened one. What'll it be there, Slappy. A little green tea, maybe? A little carrot apple beet juice
with a shot of wheat grass? How about some Himalayan yak juice?
Bayliss: Is the yak juice fresh?
Lewis: Fresh as can be. What about you, Stewie, boy, what's your choice?
Gharty: Black and Tan.
Lewis: Black and Tan coming at you.
Munch: You call yourself Irish?
Gharty: Yes, I do.
Much: Bass is brewed in England.
Gharty: Yes, it is.
Munch: Real Irish never order anything English.
Lewis: Come on, let the guy drink what he want to drink.
Munch: If you had any clue you'd order half Guinness half Harp.
Bayliss: We don't have harp on tap, John.
Munch: You don't like it in bottles then you have straight Guinness.
Gharty: I wait until winter for that.
Munch: Then you have half Guinness half any lager on tap. But you don't order anything English if you have any self respect
for what you say you are.
Gharty: What are you, the Jewish branch of the IRA?
Bayliss: Let me get some change, here, okay. You guys want to hear something on the jukebox?
Lewis: Yeah, yeah, how about something bluesy. How about the song about the old man young girls can't get enough of.
Bayliss: I got you covered there.
Munch: Every shmoo comes through that door's been to Viet Nam. From 6 to 60 they all got their stories. They all seen combat.
What was the ratio of support troops to combat? 3 to 1 in 'Nam?
Gharty: I wouldn't know.
Munch: Well, you should, you where there.
Gharty: You saying I wasn't?
Munch: Every shmoo, 6 through 60, comes through that door.
Gharty: You don't want me here why don't you just say so? You ain't the only game in town. There's got to be 50 bars in a
three block walk.
Munch: You're the expert.
Gharty: I was doing my duty.
Munch: Oh, yeah, what'd you do? Run the Officer's canteen, chauffeur around VIPs?
Lewis: Come on Munch, lighten up, babe.
Gharty: What were you doing back then?
Munch: My duty, trying to put an end to this stupid dirty atrocity. It beats the Hell out of driving the colonel's wife around
Gharty: Here. You all have a good night.
Munch: We will now.
Stivers: I believe Errico's mother was being straight with us.
Falsone: Yeah, she doesn't want to lose her house due to her halfwit son.
Gee: You checked this dope house she gave you?
Stivers: Yeah, it was empty. The action must have moved elsewhere. It's a traveling circus with these hop-heads.
Gee: You're late. And you look like hell.
Gharty: That good, huh?
Gee: Hey, you two clowns lost?
Knoll: Is PJ in custody?
Gee: Did you hear me? Haul your carcasses out of here.
Knoll: I got know if you busted PJ this morning.
Litche: He didn't show up for court.
Gee: He didn't what?
Falsone: PJ jumped bail?
Litche: The judge is crazed.
Knoll: My boss, she is pissed. She's holding a 50,000 dollar bond on PJ and he skips.
Gee: Well, we don't have him.
Knoll: I checked his apartment. Nothing.
Stivers: He's running for the border.
Litche: Not without his passport.
Knoll: We raised him from a pup. Trust only goes so far. You catch up to Joey Errico?
Stivers: Matter of time.
Knoll: I tell you, where Errico is, PJ's going to be. I know PJ, his pride's wounded. If you don't got him, he's out hunting
Gee: He brings any harm to Errico I'll charge everyone in your company with intimidating a state's' witness. I'll go after
your bonding license.
Litche: PJ best be found then.
Gee: Mike Giardello, Meldrick Lewis, Falsone and Stivers, go out and locate this Errico before the sun reaches its zenith.
Lewis: What's up there, Gee?
Gee: There's this joker running around the streets that's been a royal pain in my prostate. This numbskull will provide you
with a description.
Knoll: I'll get PJ myself. I got it. A sense of honor.
Gee: A sense of what?
Knoll: Honor. Ethics. Values. You and me, we're kindred spirits. We go get the bad guy, we go and hunt him down.
Gee: You do it for the money.
Knoll: Yeah, you don't? I bring in a body for money you stand over a body for money. Maybe there's a difference in that yours
are stone cold dead, but me? I like mine to have a pulse or at least be warmer than room temperature.
Gee: Why do you dislike me?
Knoll: What, I like you.
Gee: No you don't.
Knoll: Sure I do.
Gee: You do it for honor, is that what you do it for?
Knoll: I mean I feel obligated for all what's happened. However I can help you, why don't you let me? I know PJ, PJ knows
Errico. How about I be your trackin' dog? I'll save you time, I swear, and I will not let anything happen to Joey Errico.
Gee: Falsone and Stivers, take this mutt with you. Mike and Lewis, you got this garbage. I'm going to indulge you, you understand?
Disappoint me one more time--
Knoll: I wouldn't do that. I will not.
Gee: Before the sun reaches its zenith.
[Falsone and Stivers' car]
Knoll: Errico's a stone hype. He needs to boot up six, seven times a day.
Falsone: Yeah? The an authority on hypes? Errico is white. How many Caucasians you count out there?
Knoll: None. But I've seen this spot turn united nations in a blink. I know Errico, he's been a regular here.
Stivers: Not now he ain't.
Knoll: You should head to Woodland and Park Heights. He'll be there. I feel it in my bones.
[Mike and Lewis' car]
Lewis: Alright, so where's this buddy of yours?
Litche: PJ'd be somewheres across the street surveilling.
Mike: Across where?
Mike: How many lessons you take in serveiling 'somwheres'?
Litche: Three half hour classes.
Litche: My favorite class.
Lewis: You actually make a living doing this here?
Litche: Man, I'm averaging 80, 85 a year.
Litche: Yeah, some drug kingpin jumps his bail on a half a million bucks. Business is good. I've been on easy street the last
couple years in this town. What about you guys?
Mike: Oh, yeah. I'm the Bill Gates of Baltimore.
Lewis: Suddenly I feel like Gunga Din.
[Falsone and Stivers' car]
Stivers: You see Errico?
Knoll: No, but he's been here, I know it.
Falsone: Right. You can smell his scent, huh?
Knoll: No, this is his kind of circumstances, his kind of crowd.
Stivers: So he's been here. Ain't the trick of what you're supposed to do is be one step ahead of your fugitive.
Knoll: Yeah, sure.
Stivers: Then let's cut to the chase, huh?
Knoll: Fayette and Durham. He'll try to connect there next.
Falsone: You can feel it in your bones?
Falsone: You're confident.
Knoll: Oh, very definitely.
Stivers: You're making this up as you go along.
[Mike and Lewis' car]
Mike: See anybody?
Mike: Pull this guy over. Get this guy.
Lewis: Hey, you come here. I ain't gonna bust you, man, I just want some information.
[The car behind them does a U turn]
Litche: That's Errico!
[They chase after him. A black SVU pulls in front of them and joins the chase.]
Litche: That's PJ!
Lewis: That's PJ!? Come on, Mike, kick it!
Mike: I got him, I got him, I got him.
Lewis: 64 413 to KGA
Radio: KGA to 64 413, go ahead.
Lewis: Yeah, we are in pursuit of a black Ford Explorer and a blue Ford Tempo, still heading south on Leadenhall, coming up
on West Street. KGA this is 64 413, KGA, we are still in pursuit on Leadenhall and we just crossed West, coming up on Ostend
Radio: ...I repeat, all units...
[As they race through an intersection, Mike swerves to miss a pedestrian and slams into another car.]
Charles Bassett: My Wife's in here! Can somebody, somebody help her! Please!
PJ: Are you alright? You okay?
Bassett: She's not moving! Somebody!
PJ: Hang on, I'll call an ambulance.
Mike: Call it in, call it in now.
Bassett: Somebody help us! Francine!
[Lewis is slumped over the dashboard, his head bleeding.]
Mike: Lewis! Lewis! Get an ambulance! Don't touch him! Get an ambulance! Call an ambulance! Somebody, quick!